February 2012
5 posts
7 tags
unused jeremy lin puns
linsulin
“hold on, friend, i need to take a shot of linsulin, since i am a diabetic.”
linsolvent
“the jones family will have to give up their house because they are linsolvent.”
linkjet
“we have a very nice linkjet printer at my office.”
ash lindnesday
“the priest spread ashes on my forehead at this evening’s ash lindnesday service.”
...
16 tags
in which i finally get all this grammy nonsense...
as a general rule, i dislike award shows. art is too subjective, i am too opinionated, and it’s usually just best for me to stay away from them for my blood pressure’s sake. but the grammys are the absolute worst. and i can say this from beyond my clustered, frumpy, negative viewpoint. i say this as a point of debate: the grammys are worthless. specifically in the last decade or so....
5 tags
a rebuttal to the idea that "they don't make music...
the picture that’s been going around facebook lately is a split screen of frank sinatra and his lyrics juxtaposed with justin bieber and his obviously vapid lyrics. the caption, “what happened?” infers that modern music is trash and they don’t make it like they used to. while this isn’t an “apples to oranges” comparison, since both entertainers are...
2 tags
January 2012
5 posts
December 2011
2 posts
1 tag
November 2011
7 posts
the 2nd annual hover-for-title-click-for-music top...
4 tags
danse russe
if i when my wife is sleeping
and the baby and kathleen
are sleeping
and the sun is a flame-white disc
in silken mists
above shining trees,—
if i in my north room
dance naked, grotesquely
before my mirror
waving my shirt round my head
and singing softly to myself:
“i am lonely, lonely.
i was born to be lonely,
i am best so!”
if i admire my...
October 2011
2 posts
1 tag
just a minute, i'd like to talk fantasy...
last year, i won my league. i won it based on the strength of four moves. two waiver wire steals, and two major trades. my waiver wire claims were for a qb that also ran for scores (vick), and a receiver that people were down on (bowe). my trades were for a top five wr (a.johnson) and a top five rb (j.charles).
this year, i have had two waiver wire steals. a qb who also runs for scores, (tebow),...
September 2011
4 posts
4 tags
lucid without any control
supposedly, we dream every night. we just don’t always remember them.
last night, i was in europe. dream europe, anyway. i kept thinking, how am i here? i don’t remember taking a plane, i don’t remember planning this trip. then i realized i was there by myself, with no luggage or supplies. i even felt around for my wallet and couldn’t find it. all i had was my phone. i kept using it to find my...
3 tags
roll the dice
if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.
if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.
go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the...
self-examination
i have somehow managed to convince myself that i don’t deserve to be happy. or, more specifically, to succeed.
every thing i do; every hobby, every job, every indulgence, every undertaking. i manage to do each of them just well enough to enjoy a small modicum of victory, but never enough to permanently grasp onto something to incorporate it into a lifestyle, or profession. and certainly...
August 2011
5 posts
Watch
July 2011
2 posts
June 2011
3 posts
The Many Faces of Ron Swanson
azizisbored:
Wow. Well done.
flyingscotsman:
May 2011
3 posts
mommy, where do fifth third bank jobs come from?
5 tags
the fast and the furious 6: osama's revenge
question: just about everyone was happy to see osama go. some people even celebrated with booze and partying as if their favorite sports team won a shiny trophy. so i’m wondering, is there ever a time to celebrate a human being’s death? their departure into eternal judgment, or the eternal black ether, depending upon your spiritual worldview. and that leads to another question. for...
April 2011
4 posts
the fat smoker's haiku
unsure about the yellow on my fingertips. cigarettes? mustard?
the song-a-day-cast is back.
click, subscribe and share.
March 2011
7 posts
the last of the witulant internadio webcasts
in march of 2010, i attempted to start my own internet radio show/podcast. it was a show filled with technical problems, bad guests, poor production, but was a lot of fun. after about six months, i took a break from the show to move to ohio, and then after that decided my mind wasn’t in the right place to continue the show. it was conceived and created in minnesota, made sense to die there.
...
Watch
Watch
February 2011
3 posts
self-indulgent suicide haiku
heartburn. depression.
sad-ass excuses to die.
but tonight, enough.